Cari Hikmah (Lagi)

Saya sering berkata pada teman bahwa
“orang yang harus kamu percayai pertama kali di dunia ini adalah dirimu sendiri”
Karena kalau kita gak percaya pada kemampuan kita, bagaimana kita bisa melakukan sesuatu hal yang kecil sekalipun. Dalam kepercayaan saya pun tertulis “jadilah terang dunia”, Tuhan uda ngasih kita talenta & kita gak kekurangan apapun untuk jadi terang dunia.

Saya menulis itu karena saya membutuhkan kepercayaan diri itu saat ini.
Beberapa hari ini, saya merasakan kelelahan yang sangat. Keluar dari society membuat saya merasakan kosong & sadar kalau kehilangan kemarin benar-benar masih terasa.

Saya sadar gak mudah mengeluarkan orang yang telah terlanjur masuk ke dalam hati meski kamu pernah berhasil melakukannya.
Belajar ikhlas & merelakan hubungan kandas memang berat, apalagi di usia saya yang sekarang ini (usia siap menikah & dituntut menikah).

Saya belajar untuk percaya bahwa itu bukan keputusan yang salah. Keputusan meninggalkan dia yang sudah nggak sehati adalah tepat. Belajar untuk percaya bahwa Tuhan mengijinkan sesuatu karena itu adalah yang terbaik.

Saya yang lagi belajar keikhlasan didalamnya.

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